


the grass is much greener on the other side

by Moonlit



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 07:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlit/pseuds/Moonlit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody would ever be satisfied with their own lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the grass is much greener on the other side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [awfffsome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/awfffsome/gifts).



> I missed writing so much - I kind of wrote this in a rush! This fic is set somewhere between the first and second season, when everybody was more or less innocent and stuff.

****

the grass is much greener on the other side

**.Serena.**

Serena loved Blair with all her heart. When everything else was falling apart, she knew that Blair was the only thing solid she could rely on. She was her friend, her sister, her soul. Serena was nothing without Blair.

That was, also, why she hated Blair. Because Blair was right, Serena _had_ to steal her spotlight; but only because she had none on her own. And Blair had everything: a mother who was always around, a model she could look up to, a lovingly dad, and she was surrounded by men who would do anything for her. Who was Serena? Her mother only cared about getting married for the uptenth time, her dad was M.I.A. and none of her boyfriends loved the real her (Dan got so, so close, only to let her down in the end). The real Serena who would do anything for the ones that she loved, and give up on whatever was needed so she could make her friends happy.

The only reason nobody got to see the real Serena was that she was too afraid to be left with nothing.

**.Blair.**

Attention was a treasure Blair prized too much. She knew that, but learned not to be ashamed of it. She didn’t even need love that much - she only wanted somebody to look at her, to see her for who she was.

Her mother ignored her, her father chose to live far away with Roman, Nate and Chuck were too caught up with their own lives to take a minute to think of her. Serena was her best friend, and Serena got anything she wanted, all boys strived for her attention; still, she was more worried about stealing every bit of attention Blair had. Blair’s minions only saw what she needed them to see: she needed to be the biggest bitch, or else she would be nothing. But that was not all that she was. Not even close. In the end, Blair had everything but the one thing she wanted the most.

Behind that implacable Queen B was just a girl that wanted somebody, _anybody_ , to talk to.

**.Nate.**

More than one time, Nate thought about banishing his surname from his ID. He hated to be the van der Bilt’s grandson, to be an Archibald, to carry the weight of the family. Those were just names, they shouldn’t matter so much. He was just Nate, why couldn’t he be just Nate?

 _Be the top of class. Go to Dartmouth. Marry Blair. Join the political career. Make us proud. Make us richer._ He didn’t want all that. He didn’t want any of that. Why couldn’t he build something by himself? He sometimes wished he was Chuck; Chuck could do anything, he didn’t have to bear his family’s legacy. Chuck could buy a club and run it on his own, while Nate had to deal with his father disrupting his family. He was never free, and would never be.

Nobody knew that all Nate Archibald wanted was not being himself.

**.Chuck.**

Chuck appreciated masquerades more than most things in the world. He liked the freedom of nobody seeing his face and the thought that, even if it was only because he was wearing a mask, he wasn’t hated by every single person in the room. After all, he was Chuck Bass.

Even his dad hated him. Chuck could see behind those eyes of steel. He was a burden, a disappointment, not to mention a mistake. No matter what he did, his father would stare at him with condescendence and say _“Why are you here? Don’t you have a party to go?”_. Then there was Blair, who would do anything to be with him, and Chuck thought he would be a better guy, a guy like Nate. But no, Chuck would never change for anyone; not even for himself. He could never lose, he could never show how weak he was. Sometimes he thought his dad - and Blair - would love him if he grew up to be a saint like Nathaniel; but he was beyond redemption, that much was a fact.

Chuck wanted so badly to love and be loved, but it was all to no avail: nobody ever showed him how to love anything.

**.Dan.**

Dan despised the UES lifestyle like it was the plague. He tried very hard to understand Serena’s world, but all those schemes and envy and frivolousness were too much for him to handle. He couldn’t fit, no matter how much he tried.

What he couldn’t understand was why they still acted as if there was something missing in their lives. Serena, Blair, Nate, even Chuck. They talked on and on about how life sucked while they had millions of dollars to spend. They never had to fight for a scholarship and God forbid one of them be denied going to college. No, they would never know what it was like to have a hard life. Dan’s father was struggling with mortgage so he could afford his and Jenny’s school books, while Chuck Bass ripped his so he could roll joints. Just the _thought_ of it made Dan want to cry.

Despite all his scoffing, the one dream Dan had was to be someone, to be in. To be it.


End file.
